Life As It Is

It is the morning of November 22. Thanksgiving is less than a week away, yet I am still for all intents and purposes unemployed. I never thought in a million years that this period would last so long.

It seems that with each application I send in, I wonder to myself if anything will even come of it. If I had gotten this far and employers were even hiring, it shouldn't be taking this long. But one of my best friends also told me about how it took her daughter a month to be contacted by the place she's currently working at. So maybe I'm just impatient.

Impatient or not, life goes on, and bills continue to roll in. Food still needs to be bought, and my newly paid for car needs serious repairs and gas to fucking run. And then there are things I would LIKE to get, aside from rent and utilities and the obvious necessities in life that need to be paid or taken care of. I don't understand why people take the time to post availability on numerous sites but do NOT contact you when you apply. Whatever...

I know it's coming, but I have never been a fan of the waiting game. Oh well. I suppose God is trying to show me something through this. What is yet to be seen, but I am so sick of waiting. I want to go out and be able to contribute to society by doing something that makes me happy. That's not a difficult goal for me to aspire to, so now I ask, 'what the HELL is going on?'

On the flipside, I did manage to send two totally different text messages tonight, the first relating to sexual relations, the other berating a piece of scum that brought heartache and headache to a dear friend of mine. That was empowering. In the end I know I have to believe that anything I set my mind to I can accomplish, so I should not be fearful of trying new things. I know what I can do in similar situations, and I have been in worse situations, so I cannot let this defeat me. I know it won't. I am just tired of the waiting period. Where is my life going right now with this waiting period intact and ever prevalent? I need to focus more on self improvement while i am in this "between stage". Otherwise it will seem as if it's been for nothing. Nothing is for nothing. I KNOW that everything happens for a reason. And with that in mind, I pray.


Signed,

The Ice King